Happy Birthdump
Happy Birthdump is the tenth episode of Dick Figures Season 5 and the 50th episode overall. Plot Red and Blue get terrible food poisoning from their favorite Mexican restaurant. It’s a race to see if they can get to a toilet before shit literally hits the fan. Characters Main Characters *Red *Blue Minor Characters *Pink *Stacy *Lord Tourettes *The Raccoon *Broseph *Mr. Dingleberry *Fat Ugly Girl Transcript (Shows a restaurant called Burrit-Hole as Mexican music plays, it cuts inside to Red and Blue sitting at a table.) Blue: Dude, I can't believe you're actually taking me out for my birthday. Red: Yeah man, I've been going to the sperm bank all year to save up. Blue: Aaaand I'm suddenly not hungry. Red: What?! Duude this is like my favorite restaurant! Blue: I'm suddenly even less hungry. (A Mexican Waiter arrives) Mexican Waiter: Hola. Red: Pffft, Pussy. Yo hombre, give me your dirtiest shrimp vajetas, some uncooked chicken tacos, and extra mexican eagles por favor-o. Mexican Waiter: Y tu? Blue: Dude, this place looks moy sketcho! Uh, I'll just have a glass of water, no ice, please? Mexican Waiter: Uno burrito und a glass of agua. Got it. TIME CARD: 14 Minutos Later (Red and Blue come out of the Burrit-Hole as their stomachs rumble badly.) Blue: Oh my god dude! I think I've got food poisoning! Red: Eugh, me too dude! Blue: Augh! It feels like some little mexican devil is shitting inside my stomach! And I only drank the water! Red: Ay, Dios mío, this one's gonna be trouble. We gotta get home. Blue: Yeah! (puts both hands on his stomach) Like now! Ow ow ow! (Blue sees that his car is missing) Blue: (gasps) Where's my car?! Red: It's a Mexican place man, it's probably on cinder blocks already! (A cutaway to a Mexican eagle carrying Blue's car right flying upwards) Blue: Well, how are we gonna get home?! (Red runs over to a trash bin) Red: Trash Bikes! (Red and Blue take some bicycles out of the trash and start riding them, but as they start riding, the bikes break apart.) Red: (growls) Trash Bikes! (throws the handle to the ground in frustration) Blue: (notices a bus coming) Wait! A Bus! Hey Mr. Bus Man! (The bus stops near Red and Blue as they hop on.) Blue: (sighs) Thank god. (Red and Blue notice their home is farther away than usual, both of them shake as they pass by the So Many Toilets Emporium, Up Shit Creek, and Flushing Gardens. All three have bathroom related names.) Bus Driver: Sorry folks, looks like we've got some pot holes ahead. (The bus drives over some pot holes as Red and Blue bump around) Red: Oh no! Bus Driver: Man, I'm just hitting all of these huh? Red: Abandon ship! (punches open the window) Blue: I think I'm about to abandon shit! (Red and Blue jump out of the bus near the park) Red: Bushes! (runs towards them) Blue: This is the worst birthday of my life! (Red and Blue enter park and come up to a tiny bush) Red: Nope! (Red and Blue come up to a bush that kids are playing by) Blue: No! (Red and Blue come up to a bush that two people are tongue kissing in) Red: (angrily)''Get a room! ''(Red and Blue come up to a bush which turns out to be a sheep) Red: Sheep?! Blue: Just go man! (Red and Blue come up to an old people marathon, where old people are walking together slowly.) Mr. Dingleberry: Good thing I'm wearing my diaper 'cause I've got the runs! Get it? Blue: Oh my god! Get out of the way, grandpa! (Red and Blue start punching their way through the crowd) Red: (off-screen) Just die already! You're so close! (Red and Blue punch through to the end as both start running towards their apartment, but both start groaning as their stomachs growl) Red: Oooh! Nope! Nope! Nope! Running's making it worse! (Red and Blue make it to their apartment, as Blue tries to open it) Blue: It's locked! Red: God damn it! (punches through the window) Ow! (Red and Blue climb through the broken window, they both gasp as they see the elevator is out of order. Red screams as both begin running upstairs.) Blue: THIS IS MY HELL! (Red and Blue run upstairs from room 1 to room 41, both run to their room as they clench their stomachs.) Red: Oh my god this is happening right now! Blue: Just a couple more, steps! (They make it to the room as Blue begins unlocking the door.) Red: Dude hurry! Blue: Alright! I'll take the toilet! You take the sink! Red: I always do! Blue: What?! Red: JUST OPEN THE DOOR! (Red and Blue unlock the door and get into their apartment to find Pink, Stacy, Lord Tourettes, Broseph, The Raccoon, and the Fat Ugly Girl throwing Blue a surprise party) All: Surprise! (Red and Blue are so startled, they shit their pants and leave the rest of the group shocked. Red and Blue both look embarrassed as Red slowly closes the door in front of him and Blue.) (Episode ends) Trivia *First and so far, only episode Lord Tourettes did not spaz swearing. *Fourth time Broseph did not die. *This is the first episode where we see the Fat Ugly Girl actually smile when she shouted "Surprise!" at Red and Blue. **This is also the second occasion where he hear her talk. The first one being when she said "Happy Birthday" in "Dick Figures: The Movie." *This is the fifth birthday themed episode. The previous four being "Panda Hat" which took pace on Red's birthday, "Captain Red Rum & The Pina Colada Armada" which took place on Pink's birthday, "Dick Figures: The Movie" which also took place on Pink's birthday, and "Chick Figures" which took place Salmon's (Pink's male self) birthday. *In the episode "The Red Devil," one of the rules was to never drink the water in Mexico. This rule was explain further in depth in this episode when Blue drank water at a Mexican restaurant and it gave him constipation issues. *One of the rare moments when Red and Blue are BOTH tortured. *First and only time when Red actually realizes that a couple is having sex in an inappropriate place when he shouts "Get a room!" at them, however, he may have been trying to make them leave so he and Blue could use the bush. 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Then a promo for Season 5. Red Floating None. Auto-Tune Usage None. Category:Season 5 Category:Episodes